Oh, So You Want To Be In My Book.
We’ve all heard that you shouldn’t date a musician unless you’re willing to end up in a song. (I assume we’ve all heard that, I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. But honestly, don’t do it unless you’re ready for some very vocal backlash to a breakup.)
The same goes for authors. None of our characters are fictional, not really. They are living, breathing people that we have to draw from somewhere, and if you know one of us—guess what!—it’s your lucky day. You’re in a book. Quirks, mannerisms, traits, and reactions are all things that we (authors, weird bunch that we are) are constantly watching for in people around us. It’s like playing psychologist, but there’s no board certification to worry about, you aren’t messing with real people’s lives, and it is way more fun. We also aren’t bound by patient confidentiality, which means we can document and share whatever the heck we want, and usually do.
Now, I’ve grown up in a more inspiration-rich environment than most, for the simple reason that I come from a large family, many of whom are either missionaries, ranchers, or flat out crazy (in a good way, I promise), which means no matter where I looked there was always something worth noting going on or being told. My own life has fallen into all of those categories at one point or another (I’ll let you determine which one you think is a permeant fixture), which has given me all kinds of opportunities to…ahem…expand my creative sources. With dozens of first cousins, far more in my extended family, and stories from all over the world, I would hear stories about being out horseback riding and getting chased by a pack of wild dogs, desacking a skunk only to find out you’ve done it wrong (imagine those consequences, and yes, those are things that are definitely getting used in future stories), and others of the kind. Mixed in with the funny were the ones that made you realize exactly how much courage it takes to stand strong. That show you the kind of boots you have to fill if you ever have even half a chance of being half the person that’s telling the story.
Those are the ones that, when combined, make for a good book. And, of course, all those excruciatingly awkward moments in your life that you promised yourself you’d never relive, let alone tell anyone, finally have a purpose! Yep, it’s worth the humiliation (though you have plausible deniability. “Oh, no, that part wasn’t based on me. What? No, it was a…friend of mine. They told me I could use it as long as I didn’t say who it was.”). Luckily for me, I am an incredibly awkward person, which means that, combined with my background, I’m basically the best kind of candidate for writing stories that can make you laugh, cry, and cringe along with the characters, because we’ve all been there, I’m just more willing than most to use the kind of things that we all wish were never public knowledge.
So, just for a brief preview, yes, it was me that was called a “soulless automaton,” and yes, I was asked if I “needed a translator to the human race,” and yes, it did make me laugh. The context really isn’t necessary, but when you hit that part in A Desert Dweller’s Field Guide to: Taking Down Criminal Enterprise you can just rest in the knowledge that it was, in fact, a real comment that was meant to be an insult.
You can guess at the rest of them. Think of it like a treasure hunt, but you just never get answers. It’s still fun, I promise.
